I Watched All the (Brosnan) James Bond Bond Movies So You Didn’t Have To

The World Is Not Enough

1999’s The World Is Not Enough was better than Tomorrow Never Dies if only because it reaches a point of absurdity that made me smile. However it may have had to do with the fact that the vodka martini’s were starting to take hold.

In his third outing, Bond is tasked with protecting Elektra King, the overseer of a major gas pipeline, due to the assassination of her father right in the MI6 building. I will concede that I liked this as it not only ups the stakes with a bombing at MI6, but changes the headquarters temporarily to Scotland, which is a beautiful HQ setting.

While protecting Elektra, Bond uncovers a plot to blow up the pipeline using stolen uranium. The perpetrator is none other than Begbie, or Robert Carlyle to those who haven’t seen Trainspotting. Begbie is a French terrorist who has a bullet in his brain and because of that, is stronger? (that’s what the movie told me so i rolled with it)

While trying to stop Begbie, MI6 discovers Elektra is in cahoots with Begbie. With the help of nuclear physicist CHRISTMAS JONES, Bond must stop Begbie and Elektra from… Blowing up Istanbul? (the plot is so dumb)

Okay where do I even start. So the first quip is literally in the first two minutes, after which I paused the movie and laughed insanely in a fit of hysteria. The writing reaches a new peak as it become clear many of the characters and set pieces were created for the sake of Brosnan to make jokes. It hurts my soul and the writers should never be allowed to work anywhere ever again.

They Literally Named her Christmas Jones so her could say “I thought Christmas only comes once a year” but comes means… you get it. (Scene’s here if you don’t believe me) It’s truly awful and when it was said I screamed.

As illustrated, the plot makes no sense and is based around epic set pieces, which should be reversed. The plot should dictate where he goes, not where he’s going that dictates the plot, if that makes sense. Besides this the plot itself is convoluted to say the least, with unnecessary twists and turn that still leave my head spinning. If I were to write them all out in detail my post would become a novel.

There’s also copious amounts of bad acting, which enhanced my experience but detracted from the movie as a whole. The only notable actors are Begbie who is giving it his all, and surprisingly Elektra. Sophie Marceau is trying her best with what she’s given, which can’t be said about Christmas wet tee shirt.

This movie, while an enjoyable time, hurt my soul. It’s a poorly acted complicated mess of a movie that feels like two equally bad movies rolled into one steaming pile of garbage. Whereas the last movie marked the beginning of the end this movie was and should have been the end. It atrocious and THEY NAMED HER CHRISTMAS JONES WHAT THE HELL.

Advertisement

One thought on “I Watched All the (Brosnan) James Bond Bond Movies So You Didn’t Have To

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s